With the new year around the corner, I’m bracing myself for the flooding of people about to interfere with my gym routine, friends trying to convince themselves that they are actually going to strap-up, and others telling themselves that from here on out they are going to be a better person, call their mother weekly and not make fun of the bald headed mail room clerk.
We’ve all heard it, shit — we may have even said it ourselves.
Even if you enter 2013 with enough pre-workout energy supplement, coffee and copious amounts of adderall to keep it going until February, I doubt that any change will take effect and you will inevitably fall back into the same routine of being complacent, being a jerk and not bettering yourself or those around you.
But I have good news for you readers!
Becoming a better man in 2013 has become a lot easier with the help of our favorite inspirational alpha male, Brace Land, and THE BRACE PHILOSOPHY. If you don’t know Brace Land you need to. Brace is the stand out star of the Showtime hit series, Gigolos. He has his priorities in check – Fitness, Business, Women and Fun, all which are summed up by his zen-inspired life philosophies. Check out Brace’s personal site here.
The Brace Philosophy can be applied to any man’s life – this is our take on a few of his motivational teachings:
The Brace Philosophy in 6 Steps
1) Just Be Good To People – Is as simple as it sounds. Just be good to people. Stop pretending like its cool to make fun of those that are less fortunate, different or not up to your social status. Treat all those around you with the respect that you would like to see changed in the world. It’s not hard to do so do it.
2) Do Whatever it Takes to Look Good – Your body image is a representation of who you are and it’s important to represent your brand well. The no-brainers are: consistent exercise, proper diet, routine haircut, a trip to the tanning salon – and why not take advantage of the medical advancements that mankind has achieved – Botox, plastic surgery and testosterone treatments are not out of the question. If you have the ability to stay young, do it! You only have one body in this life so why not leave a good looking corpse?
3) She Was Hot, But Now She’s Not – Stop giving the hot girls with bad/negative attitudes the attention that they seek. Example, you see an extremely hot girl at a party and the moment she opens her mouth she says something bitchy and acts like she’s Gods gift to man. Fuck her. Literally, if you can fuck her go for it, but for everyone else get away from these bitchy women. They are not as hot as they think they are and all they are going to do is give you headache, regret and a negative credit card balance. Brace Land says it best, “What do they have to offer besides a passed around pussy and a bad attitude?”
4) What’s in it for ME? – Thinking about tying the knot this year or committing to your 6 month booty call? Ask yourself a question first; What does getting married or being in a serious relationship have in it for me? I’m not sure, but here’s what she gets:
-The diamond ring
-She moves in with you
-You put her on a pedestal and treat her like she’s a special creature = your balls are being removed
-Becoming an entertainment director for your women (i.e It’s Friday night, what are we two going to do tonight honey?) You’re the planner and have become her Yelp guide, Zagat rating and check book, using all to make the decisions and payments.
-Less nights with friends.
-Half of your money.
Think before you commit. You wouldn’t purchase a company you knew nothing about. The same goes with a relationship. If you’re really into her don’t rush it. Take your time dating and don’t get emotionally attached until you know she’s misses right. Don’t fall in love with her just because she’s good looking. Do your homework before you wife her.
5) Party Proper – Always drink light-colored liquors. Vodka and tequila should be staples in every man’s liquid diet. Minimize the sugary mixers and chasers, they only slow you down that night and provide a hangover the next day. Stay away from whiskey and beer unless you want to end up bloated with a limp dick.
6) Butt Sex Etiquette – If you are good enough to land yourself in brown town with a hottie don’t finish the job leaving her thinking she’ll never have butt sex again. I hate those guys that ruin a good thing for everyone else because they destroyed her first time and mishandle the turkey. Make sure you preheat her oven for at least 5-10 mins before putting your turkey inside. Use coconut oil for lube and keep telling her how sexy she is. Afterwards she’ll be telling her girlfriends how wonderful it was and in return those girlfriends will wind up having butt sex with others. We all can hope.
If done correctly the above 6 steps will help you and the world become a more fit, sexier place.
Best of luck to you in 2013.